We're not talking lightsabers or Death Stars here, buddy. Everyone wants those. But how about Coolth backpacks and lightwhips?
Any time you need to make a quick buck, bet that a "Borg" exists in Star Wars and then whip this one out to your overly-eager Star Trek friends. Lobot, Lando's right-hand manbot on Cloud City, is memorable for that cybernetic muff attached to his bald head. This gadget, called the Borg Construct, links Lobot directly to the city's central computer. We'd love a head implant that permanently connected us to the computer, allowing us to fulfill our mothers' demands that we get fresh air without leaving our precious interwebs behind.
Organic Gill
No, the Organic Gill isn't just one of those adorable meat whiskers growing on Admiral Ackbar's face. The Organic Gill, which appears only in the Star Wars books, is an organic device of Mon Calamari design made to help human types breathe underwater. Keep your gillyweed, Potter: we are, frankly, afraid of mermaids and much more comfortable with the kind of fish people who have fish on the top half too.
Sun Crusher
Like the Death Star but even more powerful and the size of a wee spacecraft, the Sun Crusher is the definition of BAMF. Rather than destroying just one planet like the Death Star, the Sun Crusher could take out an entire star system by turning a star into a supernova. I don't know what we'd actually do with this if we had one, but people would probably be a lot nicer to us if we did.
Having a Bug Pak would beat taking summer Off! baths every time we go outside. A small device that straps to the user's back, the Bug Pak projects a bug repellant force field from the top of the head to the collar. Maybe with version 2.0 they'll go with one that can protect your whole body from bugs, just saying.
Basically the Star Wars equivalent of a super awesome swinging timepiece, the Hypnogazer was shown in The Clone Wars television series as a device used to make people complacent. This can mean forcing them to answer your questions or do everything you ask of them. The reasons for wanting to have one of these are many and obvious.
With the Terraform Processor, one could transform a previously uninhabitable planet into one suitable for sustaining life. Seen in the forgotton Star Wars: Battlegrounds RTS computer game, the Terraform Processor would let us live on the moon, far away from all the Earth jerks.
Don't ask us how it works, but the Software of Probabilities uses all kinds of computer thinking to come up with the answer to any question you might have, provided you've got data to feed the computer. It was used to discover someone's secret meeting place in some prequel tie-in junior novel, but were a device like this introduced to the major canon, it would pretty much end all adventures, ever, by telling Vader exactly where Luke is at any given moment. Basically, we would want this if no one else in the world could have one.
As soon as someone steps into a Nullification Chamber, he or she is put into a state of suspended animation. Basically, it's like freezing yourself so you can wake up in the future, except without all of the nasty privacy frostbite.
Far superior to trying to keep aces up one's sleeve, galactic cheats used cards called Skifters to get the edge in the sabacc card game. Tapping this card changes its face value to whatever you need at that time to make your hand awesome. Since Vegas has most likely never heard of it, we could make a killing paying a dealer to sneak a Skifter into our blackjack hand.
Alright, so the Coolth Backpack is from Episode One, but it's still pretty awesome. Maybe it's the summer heat talking, but we would pay a lot of money for one of these packs, which serve as personal air conditioners. If we had one of these to keep us at an indoors-like 73 degrees, maybe we'd spend more time frolicking in nature. No, probably not.
While lightsabers are most definitely awesome, you'll look like a putz trying to wield one against a lightwhip. This rare variation of the lightsaber works on the same principles, except it's a whip. Immediate and huge triumph.
